My partner and I want to adopt a child and become parents.  Why is this so much harder for us than for married people?

Federal and most state laws have not recognized same sex marriage yet.  Until they do, many of the laws which surround domestic relations, such as adoption, do not protect same sex couples to the extent they protect straight couples.  Proper financial planning, such as cross adoption, proper will planning, etc. can restore, at least partially, some of these protections.  This difficult area requires very individualized advice and you should approach lawyers who have specialized in this practice.  I can help in the implementation of many of these details, etc.